


The Butterfly Effect

by DoctorMoney



Category: Kagerou Project, Mekakucity Actors
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-21
Updated: 2021-02-21
Packaged: 2021-03-12 05:08:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,751
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29504604
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DoctorMoney/pseuds/DoctorMoney
Summary: Instead of walking away, Shintaro speaks to Ayano when she's crying and changes the timeline.
Comments: 1
Kudos: 9





	The Butterfly Effect

**Author's Note:**

> AU where Shintaro actually talks to Ayano in that classroom scene in Toumei Answer. Hope you enjoy.

The school bell still rang through Shintaro’s ears as he dashed past laughing groups and classroom doors with only one person in mind. 

Ayano usually loved to stick to him after school. She always managed to rush over at the last minute, backpack unzipped as she shouted at him to wait. Sometimes she would be balancing notebooks that crashed to the ground when she slowed down. This caught his attention and he ended up waiting for her, although he never helped her pick up her fallen belongings.

Today, she was nowhere in sight, and he searched the hallways for her. A nagging anxiety gnawed at his heart that intensified with every empty classroom.

_Where is that girl?_ he wondered, peeking through windows and scanning over desks along the way.

His mind told him to enjoy the silence while he could, but she folded a bunch of paper cranes for him the other day. 

_I might as well check if she’s behind on homework and help. Then I won’t owe her anything._

He went to another classroom and barged in. The door slammed against the wall and Ayano looked up from her liquid-stained desk with wide eyes, like a deer caught in headlights. 

Tears were dripping down her face despite her attempts at wiping them away when he arrived. She tried to speak but the quiver in her voice reduced her words to disjointed syllables. She gave up on getting rid of her tears and turned to face the window, shielding her eyes from the blinding afternoon sun.

Shintaro had never seen her- or many other people for that matter- cry before. She braved through his scoldings and every insult in his dictionary without losing her smile. She laughed off the 50s and 60s written on her tests, as red as bloodstains.

_What would be a good reason for Ayano to cry?_

Rummaging through his head only brought him memories where he shouted at her or made every effort to steer clear from her path. The pit in his stomach was more like a boulder now.

He couldn’t be the reason for her tears. She had shrugged off his behavior so many times without a single indication that she was unhappy. He never intended to…

“Ayano? Are you alright?” asked Shintaro.

She flinched. “I-I’m fine, I was only- I’m sorry, y-you shouldn’t see me like this.”

Before he could think of a meaningful response, she gathered her belongings and crammed them into her backpack. She swung it over her shoulder and got up, staring at her shoes as she moved forward.

“It’s nothing, d-don’t worry. I’ll see you tomorrow,” said Ayano.

“Wait, I-I wanted to say-”

He mentally kicked himself for inheriting her stutter. “I didn’t expect you to still be at school. If something’s wrong you can tell me about it.”

Her head shot up and he wished he hadn’t spoken. Her eyes narrowed at him as though channeling her anger, and her leftover tears fanned the flames of his guilt.

“No Shintaro, I can’t tell you anything I want. Sometimes I’m too stupid to be around you, remember? I don’t want to bother you, so just forget it.”

She moved past him as the weight of her words sunk into his heart like a hot iron. His hand shot out and latched onto her wrist in a move fuelled by emotion only. His mind was miles away and stuck in the past, compiling all the instances when he could have been kinder.

“Wait,” he repeated. “You’re not as annoying as I say, you know? I don’t want you to be gone from my life.”

Instead of trying to pull free, she froze. Her hand relaxed and sank into his fingers, but she still did not face him.

“I never had anyone who cared enough to catch up to me after school. I didn’t know how to deal with it. I’m-I’m sorry if I hurt you because of it.”

He released her and felt his body freeze up like a stone statue.

_Turn back around Ayano, please._

She turned around with smiling eyes that seemed brighter than the sun, no longer filled with tears. Her wide smile almost convinced him that she was never crying to begin with, but it was a few centimeters too wide to be true.

“I’m fine Shintaro, really. I was thinking about something personal but it’s better now. Thanks for checking up though,” said Ayano.

“It’s fine,” said Shintaro. “Since it’s getting late, do you want to walk home?”

“Really?” 

“Yeah, I have time.”

Her smile somehow spread wider, but then it disappeared altogether. “Sorry Shintaro, but I have to do stuff tonight. Maybe another time.”

“A-alright, see you tomorrow,” said Shintaro.

He tried his best to hide his disappointment and waved at her before going his own way.

Line break

By the time he finished dinner, thoughts of Ayano and their encounter had been swirling in his head for three hours. He had gone through their interaction so many times that he could repeat their entire conversation, word for word. However, none of it brought him any comfort and he was still light years away from figuring out what she was hiding.

His computer was far less appealing today, and he spent a decent chunk of his time pacing and thinking. He was sure he had broken a personal record of time spent outside his room within the last 4 years for non-school purposes.

As he paced through the hallway, he crashed into someone and a shrill cry came right after. His sister swayed backwards but didn’t fall, and he awkwardly stepped to the side so she could pass.

“Sorry, something was on my mind,” said Shintaro.

“‘Sorry’? Did you just apologize?” asked Momo.

“Oh, I guess I did. Sor- I mean, uh…” He scratched his head. “Yeah, you can go do whatever you were doing.”

Instead, Momo looked him up and down, not too unlike a parent right before a scolding. 

“Are you doing okay? You seem bothered by something.” Then she added, “If you don’t want to tell me it’s fine.”

“Yeah, I mean, no, but-” 

_God, pull yourself together already._

“Let’s say you had a serious problem. What would be a reason not to tell your friend?” said Shintaro.

“Maybe I’ll be scared to worry them, or it’s personal,” guessed Momo. “Is this about someone you know?”

His cheeks burnt, and he furiously scratched them so she couldn’t tell where the redness came from. 

_How did she guess it so fast?_

“Shintaro, you don’t have to be embarrassed because you care about your friends. If anything, they’ll appreciate it and it’s not a bad thing,” said Momo.

_Embarrassed? Of Ayano?_

Why had he associated Ayano with something shameful?

“Yeah, I guess not,” he mumbled. “What if sh- I mean, what if that person is mad at me?”

“Then you should tell your friend how you really feel, so they don’t get the wrong idea,” she advised.

He glanced at her, but before he said anything she added “Sorry if I made you embarrassed. Ignore my advice if it doesn’t make sense.”

“No, it’s fine,” said Shintaro. “Thanks for listening to me.”

Her wide eyes were too much for him and he fled to the living room before she said anything. 

One day, awkwardness would be the death of him. Shintaro Kisaragi: dead from embarrassment. It wasn’t like he disliked talking to Momo- for the most part- but neither of them was used to having a conversation. It had been a long time since they said more than three words to each other.

Just then, his mother came home. She was sagging under the weight of five shopping bags and a purse, as overloaded as a carrier donkey. He rushed over to grab a few of the bags and helped her move them to the fridge. 

“You can ask me or Momo to get the groceries next time,” said Shintaro.

She shook her head with a smile. “It’s fine. I can stop by the store on my way home.”

Now that the lights were on, Shintaro took a close look at his mother and noticed how old she had become. Some white hairs had already sprouted and hid under the patches of black ones, resurfacing once in a while. Under her eyes laid eyebags as dark as bruises. Sweat beads trickled down her forehead, but none of her features decreased the warmth in her smile.

“You don’t have to worry about me Shintaro. Parents are supposed to work for their children after all,” his mother said, patting his arm.

“If there’s anything I can help with-”

“I already told you, it’s fine. The only thing I want is for you and Momo to be healthy. I know losing your dad was hard on both of you. I wish I could have been around more back then…”

She sighed, but her cheerful demeanor rebounded within a second. “I’m happy that you’re almost grown up now. Your dad would have been proud to see you.”

It felt like his heart was being tugged on in ten different places. He thought about his deceased father once in a while, wondering how different life would be if he had an extra parental figure. But Momo was worse off, considering she had three missing people in her life. 

_I guess I’m a terrible friend, son, and brother. That’s almost enough to fill a loyalty punch card._   
  


His past self left him with a pitiful legacy. He should be closer with Momo, but he wasn’t. He should be better friends with Ayano, but he wasn’t. He had neglected them both; now it was impossible to have a normal conversation with either of them. 

“Goodnight mom,” he said, excusing himself and returning to his room.

He couldn’t change the past or fix the consequences of having a single parent in charge of the household. 

_What if it’s too late to fix things with Ayano? Did I go too far in the past? Am I the reason for her unhappiness?_

The fear of being unable to change anything coiled around his heart and tightened until he couldn’t breathe.

_No, there’s still time. I have the rest of the year in middle school_ **_and_ ** _I’m going to the same high school as her. I’ll be a better person tomorrow._

Shintaro refused to believe that it was too late. He wasn’t going to lose one of the only people who cared about him.

**Author's Note:**

> Shout out to my editor Joey for helping out again, as well as my new beta reader Lunin. I can't imagine what the story would be like without their help along the way.


End file.
